D DRINK

Since I might not make it back from Barlin, I figured I'd better give you the recipe for Dickster's cocktail — I know, it sounds redundant. This powerful concoction is not to be taken alone!

- D dose of vodka
- creamy, unctuous coconut milk
- a big 'n' bold banana
- as prime a pear as you can get your hands on
- a plush pineapple
- generous ginger
- D secret ingredient

Blenderize it all and pour it on the rocks or crushed cubes, if you have the balls!

I tried it with rhum and found it to be advantageously aphrodisiac. Vodka is more conducive to a destructive aftertaste, I found. As for the secret ingredient, could it be the bottle labelled 'OOZE' that I found in the bar?

Jack Stack.

THE BOOBA TIP

Hey guys and gals, whoever's out there,

I just got a lead on Ali Booba!

So I deem a little side trip to Bar-lin will be necessary, under the circumstances. I pray the almighty D up in the heavens I'm not falling into a trap, like he did once. But what can you do? It's only by going there that I'll find that out.

Someone who bought something in an store up there — Barlin — told me that the guy he got it from does business with a man who holds an emporium, somewhere in Africa, who said one of his buyers deals with a merchant who's apparently supplied in goods by a caravan leader who ounce bumped into another caravan leader, in the desert, whose camels had been supplied by Booba Enterprises. How 'bout that!

I'll let you know how that goes; if it isn't a hoax, or a devious plot to liquidate me.

While I'm there, and on my way to Barlin, I've been dismantling The D-pad — Dickster's apartement — and I've come across a cocktail he'd invented, probably for the babes he brought home. It was cleverly hidden on the underside of the mixer. I've tried it and it's darn tootin' good. If you want the recipe, just let me know.

Oh, and wish me luck!

Jack Stack.

PEOPLE'S CRITIQUE

The first feedback from readers has started pouring in:


"It's the male equivalent to Bridget Jones' Diary." - Kooki B.

"I had it with me all weekend. It's funny. (…) I started getting a headache." - Judy N.

"...art...clever use of language... It's gonna have a cult following..." - Mike S.

"I'm talking the way you write!" - Martin L.

"The book's right next to our bed.(!)" - B and S McE.

"It's HUGE. Nothing is (as in could be!) bigger than Dickster." - Someone I met in a dream.

"Shocking! There were times I couldn't put it down." - A woman scientist who read it all! and also keeps it beside her bed.

"Un roman corrosif!" - J-P R. of the CCC.

"I like the way D communicates with the reader. It's funny. Very eloquent." - Ken Doll.


Well, it sounds pretty good so far. I hope the late Richard Travelle is pleased.


Truely,

Jack Stack.